I am not a Schizophrenic....and neither am I!!

I know, for many people, this is a serious illness. I do not negate that and I have compassion for you or those you love who are touched by this.

However, one of the "callings" on my life, if I may call it that, I take very seriously. That is to rasie the endorphin level of the people around me. There are many studies done on endorphin levels and how they bring healing to the body. Frankly, if I didn't laugh as much as I do, I'm sure I'd be under the covers with illnesses of all sorts.

One phrase I like to use is "What are you bringing to the party?" Life should be a party. And each of us are invited. Yes, there is stress, and hard things, and hurt, and pain, (I have experienced that first hand) the difference is the attitude of the heart.

And I choose to laugh and laugh a lot. I can find the humor in most anything. (That in itself is probably an illness, smile) I even crack myself up, and often. Sad, huh? Oh well, keeps me healthy and happy.

I love to imitate folks, too, not real people, just charcaters I enjoy and I joke about all the people that live in my head. (Now you are worried about me, aren't you?) My brother in law is a Psychiatrist. He came for a visit and my sister was egging me on to do this character or that one. I caught his glance and new that look. So I spoke up, "please don't try to cure me. There are lots of people living in here....and I like them all." (Good thing he was able to discern that I really was just doing a schtick. (Is that a Jersey term??)

I'm rambling, I'll stop now.

So, for those of you who can enjoy a good laugh now and then, I will add a new label called Endorphin Tawk, and when you need a laugh, I hope you will visit and find something to raise your endorphin level!!

Here is one for today....


Hello. You have reached the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you are anal retentive, please hold.



If it made you laugh, my work here is done.
I'm just sayin.....

What do you smell like?

My daughter got a new perfume, I love it and find myself wishing she'd get a new one, so I could smell like this every day. The fragrance is light and just makes me happy. I love perfume but they always smell better on someone else. Until this one. So I borrow it often....thanks, honey!


A person I admire greatly shared this prayer with me.
This leader embodies what this prayer talks about and I pray that I, too, can radiate Christ
even through hard things, through devastation, and loss, oh that I could be His fragrance. That I would not carry an odor of unkindness, or cruelty, or indifference, or haste, or busyness, or callousness, or carelessness. Let me, oh Christ, carry Your fragrance and wear it well!

Radiating Christ
by John Henry Cardinal Newman (1801 - 1890)
Dear Jesus,help me to spread Thy fragrance everywhere I go.
Flood my soul with Thy spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly
that all my life may only be a radiance of Thine.
Shine through me,and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with
may feel Thy presence in my soul.
Let them look up and see no longer me but only Jesus!
Stay with me,and then I shall begin to shine as Thou shinest,
so to shine as to be a light to others; the light, O Jesus,
will be all from Thee; none of it will be mine;
it will be Thou shining on others through me.
Let me thus praise Thee in the way Thou dost love best
by shining on those around me.
Let me preach Thee without preaching,
not by words but by my example,
by the catching force of the sympathetic influence of what I do,
the evident fulness of the love my heart bears to Thee.
Amen.

Women and Hormones

If you are a woman reading this, I hope you laugh, and your endorphin levels rise to combat this roller coast ride of hormones.

If you are a man reading this...why?
Wait til tomorrow's blog, it will have no hormones and no words like "breast", even though its breast cancer month. (See prior blog.)

Instructions for younger women on hormonal issues...
(Author unknown)
Q: I hear its not pain you feel during labor, but pressure is that right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A. So, what's your question.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

Cue the music.....Feelings.....nothing more than Feelings....

That's all they are....feelings.

The struggle is, we often let them define our experiences. We let them rule our actions. They have the power to dictate the outcome of our day, and, left unchecked, dictate the course of our lives.

What can we do then? We are affected by circumstances, by the actions of others, by our own choices, by life. And, in this day and age, our kids are told they should do what they feel, express themselves, no matter what they are feeling, its ok. Its validated.

There is a Proverb that says "Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs, than a fool in his folly."
Why? How can this be? Left to let our feelings rule our lives, we lead ourselves to folly. We rob ourselves of life. Of peace. Of health. Of well-being.

We all, at one time or another, will face struggles, disappointment, loneliness, loss, illness, pain, fear, rejection, anxiety...because we are human, and live in a world that is not perfect.

What then, can we do? Here is an exercise I practice (currently on a regular basis). For every feeling, I list it.

I feel anxious.

I feel overwhelmed.

I feel fear.

I feel depressed.

Then I look in the Bible until I find one (or several) Scripture that speaks truth to what I feel. I then say it over and over, or pray it until the Truth overcomes my feelings. (Sometimes I am comforted immediately and sometimes it takes time, but I continue to speak the Truth over what I feel)


I feel anxious.....Psalm 127:2 "It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to His loved ones."
I Peter 5:7 " Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you."

I feel overwhelmed....Psalm 53:3 "There they were, overwhelmed with dread, when there was nothing to dread."
Isaiah 26:3 "Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee."

I feel fear... Isaiah 43 "Fear not, for I have redeemed you....when you go through fire, water, rivers, I will be with you...you are Mine" (paraphrased)

I feel depressed... I learn from the example of Elijah (the Prophet who became depressed I Kings 19) and Job (Job 10:1) and David in so many of the Psalms that depression is real. I love that in so many of the Psalms David cries out in anguish and yet ends with, "Yet I will praise Him" or he speaks to his soul, "Soul, why are you downcast, hope thou in God."

Like exercise (which I hate) profits my body, so this exercise profits my spirit.

Try it, it will work for you, too.

And, please, someone get this (Feelings) song out of my head!

I'm just sayin....

My Hero on TV

In a previous blog, I wrote about my sister who is a cancer survivor, and has become my hero. If you know anyone battling cancer or any serious health issue, I invite you to visit her website, read about her, and pass the word along.... http://cherylowenspatterson.org



On Thursday, she was on a Christian talk show. If you'd like to view her portion, click on this link http://www.harvest-tv.com/video/VOD_GetShow.cfm?ShowID=239

The news is just before her 10 minute segment.



Makes a sister proud....I'm just sayin....

October is for Women

It's already the 8th of October and I've not yet blogged about women and breast cancer. Shame on me. I was reminded of this just today when speaking with a new friend and discovering she was diagnosed at the same age as my sister...37!

I hope that you are checking yourself regularly, and if you have never done so, please schedule a mammogram. Here are some tips I received by email to help prepare you for your first mammogram.

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, and even if they have had them before, there is fear. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your own home!

EXERCISE 1: Open your refrigerator door, and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat in case the first time wasn't effective.

EXERCISE 2: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor sideways with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Switch sides and repeat for the other breast.

EXERCISE 3: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Have the stranger press the bookends together as hard as she can. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet again next year to do it again.

You are now properly prepared!

Women, please, be good to yourself, and to those you love, check yourself and get checked.

I'm just sayin...

I Don't Understand Skinny People

I was with a friend recently who said, "I don't know, I guess I just forgot to eat".


"Excuse me?!"


Now I have forgetten a lot of things, forgotten where I parked my car. Forgotten where I put my glasses, (oft times when they are on my face), forgotten where I parked my kids even, but I have neva forgotten to eat!





Does anyone else understand this?




In case I forget....
"Would someone please order me a cheese steak with fries and cawfee regula?"





I'm just sayin....